We should do something together and be all like, woooow! Why didn’t we do this earlier?
We would get coffee at that place you like so much and I would come because I would want to make a good impression, even tough i’m not really a coffee person and then i’d accidentally say “I love coffee!” and i’d have to learn to drink it so i’d brush up on my coffee-nese so I would be able to distinguish the difference between a Machiatto and a Latte and you’d be all impressed and I’d know it wasn’t all for nothing even tough in the meantime i’d have developed a serious caffeine addiction. The lengths i’d go for you! Wow! Just…wow.
Maybe i’m even too good for you? Did you think of that? Maybe I deserve a better non-existent hypothetical contact-page using person! Huh! Wadgethinkaboutthat! No wait, don’t go. I was kidding. I’m not paranoid schizophrenic at all, that was just that one time. Those news articles are waaaaay gone by now. Wait, everything stays on the internet? Oh cra….
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